Parkersburg

Parkersburg is done and everything has been sorted and some put into the apartment that I share. And the rest is in storage. Heather was civil and gave me almost everything. I got home and sorted and found that some of my Tupperware was missing and a black storage bench was not included. But all in all was a nice weekend and now Parkersburg move is done.

Thompson Square - Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not

❤•´ *`•.❤¸Amazed - Lonestar❤•´ *`•.❤¸

Move March 18th from Parkersburg,WV to Glen Burnie,MD

Well it is Tuesday. I have reserved the hotel and the rental truck now need to find storage. So far everything is in order on my end. I just hope that when I get to Parkersburg that everything will go smoothly there as well. A very smart person once told me" You can't control other people but you can control how you react."  Sounds simple right? Sometime and not always. Heather agreed to keep my things til i could come get them and I agreed she could use my freezer and my dresser and TV. And I also agreed to give her a weeks notice so she could have my things ready when i came to get them. I gave her 3 weeks notice and she sayes to me I am keeping the freezer we need it. I said no it is mine and I am coming for it as well as the rest of my stuff. I controlled me but I couldn't control her............. So now what? I am waiting it out and hope that she will change her mind and not fight for something that she doesn't have the right to fight for. If I have to fight I will do it legally and right and calmly............More updates to come

Why?

How can people say I use them? Have i not helped them in return for them helping me? I have tried to be a good person. I have reached out to others when nobody else would. Why do people want to hurt me? Have I not had enough pain and suffering in my life? Am I that horrible a person for people? What are they punishing me for? i try to help others when they are in  need. I try to be a good friend. Anyone that I have cared for has hurt me in some way. I was born  to an abusive father and a teenage mother who had been abused her self and didn't know know what was right or wrong. They gave me up when the state stepped in when i was 8.I bounced from foster home to foster home one abusive home to the next and never feeling wanted or cared for. I was the house keeper and slave if you will. The Desmond's took me Jan. 26,1989. I got adopted in 1991. They were very strict and had double standards for me and my brothers. More emotional than physical abuse but it still hurts. How are you suppose to feel loved when you are treated like the housekeeper at 11? Mother was always with my brother who was three years older and in dance classes all the time. Dad stayed at home and we formed a bond. My oldest brother was in and out of the picture due to his lifestyle. My baby sister decided not to stay so she wasn't adopted. Would I have been better off if I had left too? I don't know? I have been in alot of relationships and though that the guy loved me or at least liked me. Turns out the only guys I have ever attracted what me for what ever they can get from me. So I married in 98 thinking Ronald was the perfect guy turns out he didn't want to be a dad or an adult. So after 11 years I filed for divorce. I should have left him before that but I wanted him in my kids life. Now I have no kids and no husband and Nothing!! I'm 33 and starting over and I don't know how. I was a stay at home mom for the 11 years and how do i find a job? My job history after 96 wasn't very good. My credit history is horrible due to the fact that my ex decided he wasn't going to pay for the house or the bills. He ended up in jail since he decided not the do as the judge said and was released when  he did what he was ordered to. He figured I wouldn't take him back on Contempt charges but I did and I won. So where does my life go from here? My adopted parents think I didn't tell them everything that was going on so they disowned me. My older brother and i talk on occasion but hes a gossip and my younger sister misunderstood something I said and so she isn't talking to me and my brother that is 3 years older is siding with my adopted parents so we are not speaking. Know where my birth father is but will never talk to him. I talk to my birth mother and half sister maybe once a week. Since my divorce I moved to Parkersburg with a guy who turned out to love me but lie to me. So I moved in with a girlfriend and put my stuff in her basement and attic and lived there for a week before another guy who i accidentally met over a text message and though I had an instant connection with asked me to leave school and move back to Martinburg with him and the plan was to live with my birth mom and sister and her two boys but got there and found I could only stay for a week and had to find another place to live. The guy quite his job when he got to Parkersburg to stay with me but couldn't find a job and missed his kids and friends. So he applied at temp agents and I moved in with a couple who were friends of a friends. I cleaned and help take care of their kids and looked for work which was hard to do without a car. So they asked me to find another place 3 weeks ago. I tried to break up with Martinburg guy several times but he didn't get it so after coming to see me yesterday and me not responding to his calls after he left he shut off my phone and today leaves nasty messages on his facebook account for the world to see. i emailed him and said that is not very adult and blocked him. So now the girlfriend in Parkersburg doesn't want me in her house and is saying she is going to put my stuff in that garage but keep some of my things because she needs them. I'm living with a new guy who I went to high school with and his mother in their apartment. So far things have been fine and I hope that when I go to Parkersburg next weekend that my things will all be in the garage and i can pack and leave that part of my life in the past. Do I trust so easily that I get hurt? I know that I can't read people and I think that is part of it. So what is my purpose on Earth? Why do I always feel like my life is so messed up and unhappy?